so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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