Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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