he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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