Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
