Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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