He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
