Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
