someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I will be naked everywhere
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
