If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
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