my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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