it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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