It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
