I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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