Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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