the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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