he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
