i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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