I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
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