Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
