it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
