I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
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