it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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