Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
