She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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