I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
