no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
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