I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
