woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
