No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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