so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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