you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
