you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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