Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
