Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
