Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
