Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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