I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
