all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
