I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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