the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
