how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
