When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Semen is not good for contacts.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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