I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I wish you could order shots online.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
