It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
