Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
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