I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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