I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
NoShamevember. You game?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
