do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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