Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
A+ Viking dick
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