dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
